Are my dreams just a reflection of reality? Do I come up with them myself? Or are they signs of guidance? Closed another chapter, still not certain why I do this to myself. The longest day will be today. As I look and wait and the one person who will give these moments significance never shows up I will continue to do all I can which is breathe. It’s raining today. And I’m tired beyond repair yet I’m here in the middle of no where putting forth a half assed effort wanting time to pass waiting for the good days to return for its only in time that you won’t occupy my mind Watson. And I suspect that in time like everyone else u too will know when you missed this ship. Never regret anything that once made you smile.
Im not sure if it was hearing my Maria, that lead me to the thought that now we both have iMac’s, that lead me to the thoughts of you tonight, but here you are 613 racing through my brain. I am not to sure why I always have this over whelming desire to prove to you that I have made efforts in my life to change who I am, but I do think its because you made me see that I could be better, and that I had surrounded myself with boundaries and limitations and negativity in my life and I just want you to know I am better. Perhaps its just that I lone for a challenge, intellectually, emotionally, physically? Do I ever cross your mind? ( Well besides when u land at at yankees game) Would it kill us to talk? Do you still click this link now and then? Well if you do, I am here, that dim light at the end of the tunnel of me not being in Ontario, well it only took me two months after our last talk to make it home. I know you don’t want to be friends, but just know every so often like today you race through my mind, and you make me smile, stay swell.